photography of Cinema — Photo by Myke Simon on Unsplash

This is going to sound absurd, but what can I say? OCD is absurd! I could not watch any movie without becoming uncomfortable. During the height of my OCD journey, and when my symptoms were the worst, I had a combination of Pedophilia OCD, Harm OCD, and Sexual Orientation OCD. Try finding a movie that had no men in it, no kids in it, and no violence in it.

My first real Sexual Orientation OCD experience was when I was watching the move “The Blindside”. Tim McGraw was in his underwear in the movie and it destroyed my enjoyment for the rest of the film. I kept thinking that he was attractive and did I really think he was hot or handsome? That would then turn into me thinking about what I would do if I really thought men were attractive. Would I have to leave my wife? If I did that, would I ever be able to see my child again?

Then came the Pedophilia OCD, which scared the crap out of me. I saw a little girl in a costume on Halloween and then my mind was off to the races. Was I attracted to this child? Was I turning into a monster? How could I think of things like this?

All of this stole enjoyment out of my everyday life. I would go to parties, I would be there in person, but I really wasn’t there. I was inside my head every moment that I was awake. It sucked, and I knew I had to do something about it. That was when I started looking into treatment options.

I will say, with everything in me, and I hope you listen, ERP works and it works well. It is mind-boggling how effective it is. I thought I was stuck like that forever. I thought I was always going to be a shell of my former self, but I took the plunge and came out even better than I was before. Seriously, if you have OCD, and are having difficulty living a normal life, please reach out to an ERP therapist and get started. You can get better, I did!

OCD can steal the enjoyment out of anything you do in your life. It is an awful mental illness that took a lot away from me until I sought the correct treatment. Now I am better than ever and am enjoying everyday more than I was before. Please, seek help. It is there, and it works amazingly.

The Mind of Russ

Watching Movies Was Tough With OCD