silhouette of man standing on mountain during sunset — Photo by Silviu Zidaru on Unsplash

OCD sucks. It took over my life for a long time and it was all I could think about. I worried myself to death that I was going to be in permanent disarray. I thought to myself on multiple occasions, aren’t I a bad person if I keep thinking this stuff?

The answer is no, your brain throws out noise. My thoughts revolved around Harm OCD in relation to my daughter. These thoughts dehumanized me, I thought I was a monster. What person could think about hurting their own kid?

I’ll tell you; anyone can think of these things. Normal brains just move on and go to something else. My mind latched onto those thoughts and destroyed me from the inside. Honestly, I didn’t want to live like that anymore and there were multiple occasions where I thought it would be better for me and my family if I gave up.

This is such a wrong way to think. People care about you, people love you, people need you. If you are feeling like this, just know you aren’t alone. You can get better; you just need to go out and find help.

Working through OCD is tough. It requires you to face your fears. Those thoughts you are trying to avoid, you must bring them front and center. Don’t run, you are only letting your brain know that it is correct in its perception of those thoughts being a threat.

You aren’t a monster. You just need to get some help. Don’t be afraid to venture out of your comfort zone and find someone who can assist you. Call some friends and family if you want to give up.

Your life isn’t over. OCD does not define you. If anything, OCD makes you one of the strongest people on earth. You battle demons every day and you persist. Don’t be afraid to ask for help in your fight. It worked for me, and it can work for you.

You are not your thoughts.

The Mind of Russ

You Are Not Your Thoughts